Day 171

Confession: Today work was filled with moments that felt too much and it made me want to lash out—but I’d dissociate instead. At one point I thought about just giving up and going home.

9 hours in (a 14 hour day), I went into the washroom to breath and figure out what I needed. I reminded myself I don’t need to push through every moment of private suffering. I deserved to feel safe.

When I went back I immediately asked for a change. And I got it. My problems werent solved, but they were manageable and I had some special people-moments I wouldn’t have had if I’d given up.

It’s embarrassing how often I abandon myself in the quietest ways, because speaking up—without freaking out—wasn’t a skill I learned.

Sound of the day: sleep.