Day 267

Confession: Today is my soulmate’s birthday, but they are no longer alive. His existence is so much more than his death, but I still struggle to think about him without seeing his death.

I told someone about Ziggy today and they talked about how hard it is to lose a pet and showed me the photo hung on the wall of their beautiful dog who had passed. Their loss is real but a strange reminder for me that things are different. Some people can look at photos of lost loved ones. With Ziggy I can’t.

It’s not just about the traumatic loss. Ziggy held me during my dark years and it wasn’t until a year after his death that my life started to experience peace. I hate what he went through with me and I feel guilt that I move onto my new life without him.

Sound of the day: Yehezkel Raz – Ballerina https://youtu.be/bDj3_B51f-U?si=S35wAuMBj9TOoQk_

I played this song on repeat for him and I on our last night together. I haven’t been able to listen to it again.