Day 285

Confession: Around a decade ago I had a side hustle training horses. I had been working with horses since I was a kid, but in this case I was working multiple jobs, young, struggling, and desperate. 

I was put in a dangerous position by my client, who was trying to sell the horse quickly, but felt I had no authority. I did what they wanted me to do, against my better judgement, and the horse freaked out. I was thrown into a fence like a ragdoll—my head, collarbone, hip and legs were all hit at once, including my knees. I could move bits around on the dents in my kneecaps.  Surgery couldn’t be done.

I couldn’t walk or stand for long periods of time. I was working retail, mostly on the cash register, and was given a stool to sit on. Customer after customer commented on it, either joking about me slacking on the job, jabbing at my special treatment, or genuinely annoyed at my laziness.

I still struggle with my knees. I still blame myself for the accident. But I’m reminded of something every time the pain flares up.

After I hit the fence and fell to the ground, I could see the horse running at me. I thought I was going to be trampled. I put my hand out to protect myself as I fought to get up. The horse pressed its head into me, breathing heavily, terrified. It stood there. I stood there.

That image stays with me.  

Sound of the day: Greer – Audio_77 https://youtu.be/x35IdksLHN4?si=XFpDIOWRVIs_u0Z-