Day 324

Confession: A couple years ago I went to court to dispute a petty driving ticket and didn’t feel nervous at all until I was brought into a room with other people. I didn’t know we were gunna be up in each other’s business. I started to dissociate and feel a crushing weight.

When it was my turn, I had to disclose that I’d been through a name change since the ticket was issued. I also disclosed that the reason for this name change, and the request to have the fee waived, was because I had fled a cult-situation led by my mother and was struggling.

It was the first time I had ever said it out loud infront of strangers. The judge was kind, and lessened the fee, but after I paid and went to my truck I didn’t feel victorious.

I felt shame. And guilt. And embarrassment.

Sound of the day: Jean Dawson – Houston https://youtu.be/Q9WPeuZh-_s?si=zeloUfQcxSCYCsHS