Day 329

Confession: Today was a very social, packed day.
I said things that were exaggerated, not true, or for shock value.
Why…
I use words to protect myself. To deter. To shrink. I’ve touched on this already in this project.

I was authentic today, in ways I should be but I sabotaged it or faltered.
A few times I felt exposed and used “humor” to withdraw. Like I wasn’t funny or distracting enough.

I’ve always been jealous of people who aren’t run by an anxiety agenda. I actively compare in the moment. I want to be quick, instead of reminded how stuck I can feel. But I caught myself throughout the day and backed off. I felt things sit on my tongue and I felt things leave. By the end of the day, my existence didn’t feel forced.

Sound of the day: Son Lux – Take Your Time With Me https://youtu.be/wzl5GEG1ah4?si=IafQggGph3lZewtg